is it just me?

i don't know why.
why do i always doubt about things in life?
i don't ever tell people what im upset about because i know they won't help me.
no one can..
it hurts to know that.
that's why i never tell others about my inner thoughts.
they will be no one to help me.
i know there won't be any help from even the ones i trust.
i doubt for not trusting people as much as i should.
i can't.
i wish i could have what i intentionally wanted.
to be someone that i know i can be.
but it's just that im too scared to show it.
i doubt too much.
i keep waiting too long.
but no one is there to help me.
i wish i wasn't in this kind of situation.
i wish i had already have what i wanted.
can i really have that if i don't doubt?